Flat Daddies and the Definition of Presence

One article that stuck out to me this year was Kwan Min Lee's "Presence, Explicated" which examines previous typology and definitions of presence for modern society and researchers. Especially when one thinks of online and mobile technologies, the idea of "presence" can be extensively debated and has important implications for relationships, community, and further research. I highly encourage the reading of the full article for more information about the history of the term, but the important part is his concluding definition of presence as "a psychological state in which virtual (para authentic or artificial) objects are experienced as actual objects in either sensory or non-sensory ways". This overarching definition allows for previous separate operationalized versions of "presence" to be unified, allowing for ease of inter-researcher communication.

I found an example of presence that surprised and fascinated me: flat daddies. Flat Daddies is a website that provides a unique service to military families by allowing them to have representation of a missing family member in the home. This site is just one of many sites that provide professional sticker image that can be left in a frame or attached to cardboard or foam board to serve as a tangible family member. The site specifically mentions that the primary purpose of the Flat Daddies is to serve as a comfort for children, but I might argue that the comforting aspect of Flat Daddies are universal to the whole family: normalcy. When a service member is deployed, there are large gaps of time (even upwards of a year) without contact with his or her children, spouses, family, and friends. Although I would like to point out momentarily that the Flat Daddies website genders the role of military service as male despite the inclusiveness of military service for men and women (commentary on sexuality discrimination is withheld for this discussion). In the situation I am familiar with, it is the male who is deployed, leaving a wife and an infant (4 months at present) behind. What is unique about Flat Daddies is the ability for the missing person's presence to still be felt in the household besides a normal 4x6 photograph. Infants and toddlers who are so young as to not have formed a strong relationship or identification with the missing family member can have a physical "para authentic" image of the loved one accompany them in every day life and activities.

I cannot help but think of the cliched line "I never knew my father" to be replaced with "I had a Flat Daddie when my father was away". The image cut-out serves as a placeholder for an actual object, thus becoming the presence and physical representation of the loved one. This can be incredibly important for maintaining normalcy in a family and the website advocates taking the life-sized poster to important events (e.g., weddings, parties) and for use in every day activities (e.g., meals together, bed time stories). Being in a long distance relationship, I originally thought it would be slightly off-putting to have a life-sized cut-out of my significant other accompany me. The differences, though, do create incentive for the product, such as the longer lengths of time in deployment and children as a factor. Is having a photograph cut-out of a deployed family member better or somehow more inclusive of a family structure? Can a family not be whole or "connected" as the Flat Daddie site says, without this physical presence?

I would be interested in researchers picking up this cause to see if family members do cope better, children better recognize their missing family member, and what the differences are between families that have the image or not. As technology connects us to more people around the world, is it really necessary for physical awareness of others? Can these authentic or "real" experiences ever be replaced? I think Kwan Min Lee would argue that there is no difference between families video-chatting with, having a Flat Daddie of, or sending letters and care packages to deployed service members, because they are all "present" for the family.